Pipe Line To God
I wonder if I will ever come to grips with the fact that weird is infinite.

You would have had to have been in front of your television on Sunday watching the Colts versus the Steelers to understand the incomprehensibility of the game and its aftermath. Because of a hideously bad call and a series of unfathomable, fortuitous circumstances, the Colts were in a position to tie the score. They sent Vanderjagt into the game to kick a field goal. He is the most accurate kicker in the National Football League, and the 46 yard field goal was well within his range and ability. However, he kicked the ball wide right, and by wide right he didnít miss it by a few inches, he missed it by 25 yards. How did he explain his failure? ďItís extreme disbelief, from the polamalu interception reversal to Jeromeís fumble, everything seemed to be lined up in our favor. I guess the Lord forgot about the football team.Ē

What? Huh? First, everyone knows God is a Steeler fan. Even more amazing, someone believes that God is micromanaging football games. That being the case, we no longer need to have drafts, practice sessions or game plans. Since God is taking sides, the winner is going to be determined by divine intervention.

In an equally weird turn of events, the mayor of New Orleans was on television stating to all who would listen that God was punishing the New Orleans area by sending hurricane after hurricane. If God wanted to take out New Orleans, He would only need one hurricane. He is an excellent marksman.

All of this leaves me wondering why I canít get a direct pipeline to the deity. I would sure like to get my information from the source rather than have the information filtered through every lunatic who claims to understand Godís motives.

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